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BETTERMENT OF ME

I see better with my eyes closed and my mind open.


An old African proverb, Every open eye is not seeing, and every closed eye is not sleeping, means, People can see what’s going on in the world, but that doesn’t mean they can see reality. It also reminds me of an old saying, “Blind in one eye and can’t see out the other.” It means someone is choosing to ignore what they see as if it never happened.
Since Covid, I like to start and end my day with meditation. For me, it’s calming, and I have a sense of peace within (a deep quiet in mind and body).


Meditating is my new norm. A change for the betterment of me.

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STOP SELF SABOTAGING

It isn’t good when family and friends stunt your growth by denouncing your dreams. But what’s worse is when you are getting in your own way. Stop self-sabotaging. Self-sabotaging because of fear of failing is just your brain overthinking and analyzing situations.

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THINK THEN ¿RESET?

If you could relive parts of your life, would you? Why?

Sit and think before you answer. Did something happen in your past, and you would like a different outcome? Will changing the situation make a big difference? Change can be certain, constant, inevitable, or imminent.
We know that we are born, we live, and we die. The only thing guaranteed in life is death. Are you willing to erase life lessons, memories (good or bad) to get a different result? And what if the new outcome is not what you expected?

Think about it…

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LOVE NO MORE

You smile
I frown
You lookup
I look down
Memories fade as I drown.

Good days
Bad waves
Sky blue
Water too.

Lost thoughts
Mind cluttered with doubts.

I let go
Only to show
Tears but no cries
As my love dies.

The eyes see
what the heart knows
And the ears hear
what you fear.

Love is gone
Washed ashore.

Love no more

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MISTAKES

It is not unusual for someone with experience to talk about what they have been through to try and stop someone else from experiencing heartache or unnecessary troubles. Everyone does not listen. An old saying that comes to mind is, “You live and learn.”
Life lessons and old sayings go hand in hand. Mistakes are life lessons. Look at the mistakes as opportunities to learn about yourself and the situation at hand.
It’s okay to learn from someone’s mistake(s) but know that regardless of the error made, be it yours or someone else, you don’t want to keep repeating the same mistake.
Damned if you do and damned if you don’t is just as relevant today as it was back in the day.

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YOU GOT THIS

There may be days when you may feel like giving up, but something deep inside says, “You got this!” So you keep moving forward. Stay focused on your goals and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Failure is not an option; it’s a choice. Choose success.

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DO LOOKS MATTER TO YOU?


A pretty face and an ugly heart don’t go together.

I know looks can be deceiving, and I have been told more than once, “Just because it looks good to you does not mean it is good for you.”

Sometimes first impressions are just as fake as the grass that’s supposedly greener on the other side. You can dress in the finest clothes, wear expensive jewelry, live in a beautiful home, and drive a fancy car but do feel as good as you look. Are you happy? Or are you trying to impress those around you?


How do you define beauty since beauty is in the eye of the beholder? When you look in the mirror, who do you see? And most importantly, do you like what you see?

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JUST ME RAMBLING

Life happens, and life’s lessons are either educational or mistakes repeated.

My mind is running a marathon again. Let me apologize for any profanity that may drop; I am merely entertaining myself. Thinking of everything yet nothing and making sense of it all only helps me acknowledge that I’m rambling beyond sprinters’ position. Join me in scratching my temple and asking myself, What the fuck was that about?

My Grandma always said, “Two wrongs don’t make it right.” I’m older now, and I say, “Two wrongs don’t make it right, but it damn sure makes us even.” And you may feel better afterward. Taking the high road doesn’t always work.
Mistakes are life’s way of teaching us. Life happens, and life’s lessons are either educational or mistakes repeated. And know that you did not learn anything if you keep repeating the same mistakes. Understanding the unknown is nothing when you should have expected the unexpected anyway.

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YOU VS YOU

Follow your dreams. And know that when you see what you want and go for it full throttle, anything is possible. You are important, and you matter. Be your ride or die. It’s you versus you. It is okay to need a second opinion, but in the end, only yours should matter.

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¿THE STORM INSIDE?

The wind is dancing to an unknown beat, thunder and lightning are singing notes known to many, and the heat is unbearable. Talk about raining cats and dogs. The weather outside has nothing on the storm that lives within each of us.

Life is as unpredictable as we are. Everything yet nothing is as it seems. Stay focused, and do you.

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GOSSIP

Gossip arouses people’s interest.

Gossip exists because people listen. Most talk is about someone who is not around or a part of the conversation. And believe me when I tell you that if someone gossips to you about someone, they will or already have gossiped to someone about you.
Gossiping often takes place when people can’t start an interesting conversation. Gossip arouses people’s interest. It amazes me that people will listen to the lies knowing that the person talking has ill intentions. People also gossip because they have insecurities they need to address, and it’s usually about people they envy. It’s not unusual for someone to give you more thought than you do them.
If someone approaches you with gossip, ask them how this pertains to you and why they tell you if it does not. The gossiper needs to know that you will not listen to gossip or talk about anyone if it is not positive.

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BROKE NOT BROKEN

Believe me when I say, “Trees that can bend to the force of the storm don’t break. Your spirit may be broke, but you are strong enough to face it all, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.”
Of all the storms I’ve weathered, I know now that I am at a place in my life where I am ready to continue moving forward with my dreams.
Nothing will stop me.

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THE LIES I TELL AND SECRETS I KEEP

I smile and wonder if GeeMa is with me in spirit. It has been seven years, yet nothing had changed. The road home is long, winding, and lined with honeysuckle trees. The scent is as relaxing as the ride home. The houses with manicured lawns, people conversing on a front porch, children riding their bikes, and playing in their yards only causes me to think back to my childhood days of growing up in Waycross, Georgia. Everything yet nothing was wrong with it. Maybe it’s me.
I knew more than I was willing to admit. Me not addressing a truth is denial. And by denying and refusing to accept something as it is, I was only lying to myself.
I’m stressing beyond anything recognizable by man. I cannot and will not let the daily pressures of today’s society put the wear and tear on me, mentally or physically. Just admitting that I’m crazy as hell, mentally challenged and so far gone, that no doctor can do for me what a friend wouldn’t dare do; which is, ask me the necessary questions, and listen to my answers knowing damn well that I need more help than they can offer. But not ready to hear them suggest, as of yet.
Telling lies and keeping secrets is my norm. I’ve grown to accept that sometimes a lie if dressed right, looks better than the truth. All secrets are deep, and some are dark and dangerous.
The hurt and negativity I embody have been a struggle for me for as long as I can remember. No medication, love, hug, smile, or psychiatrist can fully erase the aching and instability the dwells within me. I’ve been thinking long and hard about eradicating this “mess within me” and have decided that I must start now.
In confronting my past to survive my present, I must end this madness that exists within me. Lies and secrets cloud the mind, infect the soul, and destroy any chance of healing.

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OLD SAYINGS (CONTINUED)

Old sayings are definitely a part of our lives. They are lessons taught or just memorable quotes. Who alive today has not heard or repeated an old saying.


Some of my most unforgettable sayings are; let’s agree to disagree; a penny saved is a penny earned, and actions speak louder than words. Fixing to, bless your heart and your guess is as good as mine are common in the south. Ass backward is also an old southern way of saying the normal course of doing something was overlooked, and the wrong way was chosen and did not work.


Be it slang or old sayings, some are just as funny as they are relevant today.

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RANDOM THOUGHT

“Is you is or is you ain’t” is just as wrong yet right as any random thought I’m having now. The voices in my head are arguing among one another, and I’m certain the self-righteous ones are purposely tormenting the evil ones just for laughs.

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Mastering My Thoughts…

My mind runs a marathon, and my fingers can’t handle the pace at which my words formulate as I write. Yet, I continue to release.

Belinda Ann Bates

WHY AM I HERE?

I’m here to give the voices in my head the opportunity to unleash their thoughts, thus, “Mastering My Thoughts.” Their opinions are mine/mine are theirs and are subject to change. There will be falsities and illusions dressed with bits of truths because my mind runs a never-ending marathon.
The silence becomes loud voices in my head that murmur because no words can explain the rapture in my mind and heart. And as I search my brains’ depth to retrieve what my heart refuses to let my mind release, I write.
Pen or pencil to paper or fingertips to keyboard, the words flow as if they know their journey better than me. The roads traveled have been hard, and their destination waits for their arrival.
I write not to impress but to inspire. Even if that someone is just me.

A FRESH START

Ever feel like you’re walking a loop, getting nowhere, learning nothing, seeing and repeating the same shit. Hitting rock bottom can sometimes be the wake-up call needed before a fresh new start.

We should all learn from our past, live today, and experience tomorrow.