I AM AMAZING. I am beautiful. I am caring, confident, and creative. I am important. Bringing joy to others makes me happy. I am kind. I love, and I am loved. I am open to new ideas. I Am A Queen. I am respectful of myself and others. I am smart. I am thoughtful. I am unique. I am who I am, no doubt about that. Your approval is not needed.
Many say that there are times when it is necessary to lie. I agree with the few who say, “Hurt me with the truth, don’t comfort me with a lie.” And to not say anything when you know the truth is just a silent lie. Are some things best left unsaid?
Society’s perception of beauty has caused insecurities in many. Many people with personal insecurities have them because of someone’s judgment. “You’re fat. Your body shape is like a pear. You have too many freckles. Your skin is too dark. Your ass, nose, and lips are too big. What’s wrong with your hair?” These comments are often made by some who are dealing with insecurities themselves. They feel for some sad reason that tearing someone down will lift themselves. But when they lay their head on their pillow to go to sleep at night, they realize that attempt failed. Their insecurities about themselves still exist (embedded in their subconscious). Personal insecurities and self-hating do not discriminate. Men have insecurities that they need to acknowledge and address. Men have anxiety about being too short, circumcised or uncircumcised penises, developing breast, hair loss, small penises, do the penis work, weight. Males think that they are weak for admitting their insecurities. They suffer in silence because they are too ashamed to talk about what ails them. I honestly believe that we all have insecurities. I have learned to love what I call my flaws. As a teenager, I wore glasses. I ditched the glasses for contacts when I was in my twenties. And finally, I had lasik surgery. The moles under my eyes are what I now call God’s upgrade on his canvas (Me). Fifty-five years old, and I often see people (male and female) older than me pointing out features and what they consider imperfections in others. Most of this to me is jealousy and self-hate. What is a perfect person? Someone flawless. To me, the only thing perfect is the word itself. We fail to realize that sometimes our flaws enhance our beauty.
It’s not all about you; it’s about me too. Feeling loved, hugged, and accepted should be our birthright. A need that is often not met. Self-love means taking care of yourself, seeking happiness, love, and well-being. As women, we often sacrifice to take care of others. Caring for ourselves should not be something we put on the back burner. Do self-love no matter what. What does self-love mean to you? It’s different for each individual. But we all need to start by taking care of ourselves, body, mind, and soul. Eat right (well-balanced meals and drink plenty of water). Stop comparing yourself to models and other people (no two people are the same, you are unique). Last but not least, stay true to yourself and find inner peace.
Yesterday was hectic, and I pray that today will not be a repeat. My weekdays feel like horrible weekends, and I don’t know if I’m coming or going. I know I’m not the only one feeling this lag. It’s like seeing the moon and sun side by side, clear as day during the day, and questioning your sanity. It’s possible, but tell me how, what, when, and why?
I’m nosey. Yesterday, I was in the grocery store, buying groceries and people watching, when I heard, “Believe me when I tell you, I’m not the storm you want to try and weather.” I stopped, not looking for a fight, but I wanted to hear the response. A clap-back is what they call it today. Sadly, there was no response.
On my ride home, I reminisced about old sayings that made me laugh, over-think and pull out my pen and paper as a child. Here are some of the phrases that I can remember.
“Quiet as it’s kept” was used a lot, but I learned that the statements (so-called secrets) told after that saying was well known to many. “Mama’s baby, Papa’s maybe” is often said today. Who has not heard “A hard head makes a soft behind.”
“The pot shouldn’t call the kettle black” means you need not criticize someone for the faults you also have. And this one made me think because I was too young when I heard it the first time but knew not to ask what it meant, “A wet pussy and dry purse don’t match.” Sounds raunchy, I know, but I learned later it just means you should not be talking about you broke if you are having sexual relations with a man, he should be taking care of you physically and financially.
What family does not have “The Black Sheep of the family?” And who has not heard; I have eyes in the back of my head, fix your face, or I’ll fix it for you; I’m not one of your “Lil friends.” Shut the front door, stop letting out the air, I brought you in this world, and I will take you out, every shut eye ain’t sleep, and blind in one eye and can’t see out of the other had me scratching my head when I was young. Last but not least. “Let go and Let GOD.”
I could go on and on, but I would like to hear what old sayings do you remember.
Am I the only one up? It’s 3:33 AM, and I cannot sleep. So as I lay here deep in thought, the only thing I can do is get up and write to release. My mind runs a never-ending marathon (It’s running fast), and I cannot see where, who, what, why, or how it will go. Conversations that are not with someone standing in front of you or over the phone, zoom, skype, etc., are just as meaningful. I’ve had some deep conversations with myself. Some are motivational, others funny, and many leave me with the WTF expression on my face. Plenty of people tell me that when my mouth doesn’t say what I feel, my facial expression does. Many think that random thoughts, rambling and staring are often associated with instabilities. Not true; with me, it’s; just because I don’t say it does not mean I didn’t see shit. I’m no longer surprised that some people consider silence stupidity (not realizing they are the stupid ones in the equation). If my rambling makes no sense to you, that’s okay. What makes sense to me may not make sense to you. Just me rambling…